Posted by: Alyssa
I am dreaming of a world where “The Book of Lost Things” can be translated to the big screen and become “The Movie of Lost Things.” To do John Connolly’s hauntingly entertaining exploration of the fairy tales we love as a child and the power books wield over us justice—we have to have the perfect group of people orchestrating the transition to the big screen. Hollywood, allow me to offer some suggestions. It shouldn’t seem like David’s entering Narnia since much of this is a coming-of-age story about facing your fears and inner demons. It can’t be just anyone to adapt this spellbinding book into a movie. We need people involved who are going to bring out the same themes, raw emotion, and vivid imagery that the book provides.
The Movie of Lost Things:
Director/Writer: Spike Jonze
He knows a thing or two about adapting a book about childhood to the big screen and making it visually-stunning (he is the director and co-writer of the very much underappreciated Where the Wild Things Are).
Cast:
David: Chandler Canterbury/Asa Butterfield
This role needs to be for a child who is adorable, strong, mature, and not annoying. I couldn’t choose between these two dolls. They both have intense eyes, they both have an adult demeanor, and they are both close in age. Not to mention, they both have very European-sounding names.
The Woodsman: Brendan Gleeson
We needed someone scruffy and rugged who can yield an axe is stout and is also aged with wisdom to share. He also has to be paternal and naturally likable. Who better than the Irish-man who knows a thing about magical realist elements of Irish culture (The Secret of Kells)?
Roland: Joseph Fiennes
It was necessary that the actor pass for a noble knight, but also potentially come off as a homosexual. I think that Joseph Fiennes gives off that vibe. He’s handsome sure, but with the right mustache and haircut, he can pass for gay (I’m talking to you Neil Bookman in Running with Scissors).
The Huntress: Bryce Dallas Howard
She’s caught up in her vanity so it has to be someone beautiful. She’s also a bitch (Howard knows a thing or two about that as demonstrated in The Help and 50/50) who creates hybrids of children fused with animals.
Snow White: Pam Ferris
If Snow White is meant to be a foul, overweight heffer, the person who will fit that role nicely is Ms. Trunchbull in Matilda. Not that Ferris is a foul, overweight heffer she just knows how to play one.
Rose: Rose Byrne
Duh, her name is Rose. She’s obviously a no-brainer. But that bit of irony aside, she proved she can be sinister (in Bridesmaids). She’s played motherly (in Insidious). And she’s got real talent.
David’s Father: Joel Edgerton
He looks Irish enough and he has that fatherly instinct (watch Warrior or The Odd Life of Timothy Green if you doubt that). I feel like he’s a star on the rise with talent to boot. I’d like to see him in some big projects.
The Crooked Man: Robert Knepper
For a man who’s crooked, the right actor needs to kind of seem like a creep. He also has to be lanky, sneaky, and manipulative. Plus, I feel like he should be able to wear a hat like it ain’t no one’s business. I think T-Bag (excuse the nickname) from “Prison Break” is a good fit.
This book is meant to be seen. But only if the right people are going to be the ones making the project. It’s a beautiful, haunting book that deserves to be an equally beautiful, haunting movie. Connolly knows what it is like to be a child and to grow up in a world that is hostile. Life is not always forgiving. These are the themes that I’d like to see on display in “The Movie of Lost Things.” So let’s go Hollywood, get to work funding this picture and making it a reality. I bet there are a lot of people who support the idea of seeing it on the big screen.
GoodFlickas 