posted by: Alyssa
— Posted by Alyssa
Can you believe that the franchise that has given us ten years and eight movies of magical entertainment gave its last spark almost two years ago? J.K. Rowling has crafted seven thoroughly entertaining novels that have translated amazingly to the big screen. Harry Potter will go down in history, in fact, he has his very own theme park at Universal Studios. In honor of the Boy-Who-Lived and his friends at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft of Wizardry, I have provided an update to the fine little lads and lasses who were members of this wonderful wizarding world.
Harry Potter, Gryffindor: Quidditch-Playing, Voldemort-Powner
Kill Your Darlings (Limited Release)
Also starring: Dane Dehaan, Elizabeth Olson, and Ben Foster
–A biographical drama, Kill Your Darlings is set in 1944 while beat poets such as Allen Ginsberg prospered.
The F Word (Unknown)
Also starring: Zoe Kazan and Amanda Crew
–This is a classic friendship-meets romance conundrum. No love potion will be able to help Radcliffe now!
Horns (October 11th)
Also starring: Juno Temple and Max Minghella
–Going back to his magical roots, a young man wakes up to find horns growing out of his head after his girlfriend’s mysterious death.
Untitled Frankenstein Project (Unknown)
Also Starring: Not Available
Radcliffe will play the creepy, hunchbacked assistant Igor in this yet untitled and not casted production of Mary Shelley’s classic.
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor: Smart-Ass, Frizzy-Haired Muggle
The Bling Ring (June 14th)
Also starring: Taissa Farmiga, Leslie Mann, and Gavin Rossdale
–Directed by Sofia Coppola, this is a tale based on true events of youth gone greedy and hungry for a taste of fame.
This is the End (June 12th)
Also starring: James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Jonah Hill
–A comedy about comedians trying to survive the apocalypse playing versions of themselves in James Franco’s house.
Noah (March 28th)
Also starring: Logan Lerman, Russell Crowe, and Anthony Hopkins
–Directed by the masterful Darren Aronofsky, the biblical animal hoarder is having apocalyptic visions and taking measures to save his family.
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor: Ginger-Headed, Scaredy-Cat
The Necessary Death of Charles Countryman (Limited Release)
Also starring: Shia LaBeouf, Melissa Leo, and Evan Rachel Wood
–A guy falls for a woman who is claimed by a violent crime boss
Also starring: Malin Akerman, Ashley Greene, and Justin Bartha
–Set in the punk rock scene in New York City at a nightclub entitled CBGB, Grint plays a character named Cheetah.
Postman Pat: The Movie (November 27th)
Also starring: David Tennant and James Broadbent
–An animated family film about a veteran postman who enters a television talent show competition.
Cross Country (Unknown)
Also starring: Kelly Downes and Rachel Malone
–A horror tale about a group of friends who go to the woods… doesn’t that sound familiar?
Super Clyde (Unknown)
Also starring: Stephen Fry, Tyler Labine, and Laura Ortiz
–A comical television movie about a fast food worker who becomes a superhero.
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor: Ginger-Headed, Potter-Lover
The Philosophers (Unknown)
Also starring: George Blagden, Kate Findlay, and James D’Arcy
–A sci-fi/fantasy about a group of students who are chosen by their teacher to restart the human race after an apocalypse.
The Sea (Unknown)
Also starring: Ciaran Hinds, Rufus Sewell, and Charlotte Rampling
–A man returns to the sea to try and cope with his wife’s death.
Before I Sleep (June 20th)
Also starring: David Warner, Tom Sizemore, and Chevy Chase
–A drama about a poet searching through his past looking for redemption and peace.
Geography of the Hapless Heart (Unknown)
Also starring: Stephen Dorff, Douglas Booth, and Elena Anaya
A multi-segment film about love and intimacy.
Draco Malfoy. Slytherin: Aryan-Looking, Resident Asshole
Also starring: Elizabeth Olson, Jessica Lange, and Oscar Isaac
–A couple get haunted by a ghost causing their relationship to deteriorate.
Also starring: Matthew Goode, Emily Watson, and Tom Wilkinson
–A period drama inspired by the life of Dido Elizabeth Belle, who was onboard a Spanish ship.
Fangs of War (Unknown)
Also starring: Not Available
–A re-imagining of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” pinning Nazis against vampires.
Ghosts of the Pacific (Unknown)
Also starring: Jake Abel and Garret Dillahunt
WWII alum find themselves stranded on a lifeboat without food or water after being forced to ditch their plane.